Healthy is a Direction Not a Destination

By Roger Shepherd

One of the signs of a healthy family is that they talk about their unhealthiness. None of us are completely healthy, but we can always be moving in a healthy direction. That’s why it’s important that we are learning to live life in a non-defensive way. 

A while ago I was spending time with one of my adult daughters. The topic of childhood wounds came up in our conversation and she shared with me about a memory she had in elementary school and how I as her father had handled it. She had been deeply wounded by the things she remembered I said to her. I was so glad that I did not get defensive (I did not remember saying those things but that is not the point). If we are defensive, we miss our opportunity to have a part in bringing healing to those wounded places—that is the point. A healthy family is a place where feelings are valued and healing is experienced. 

Hurt happens wherever there are unmet expectations. We all have expectations whether we verbalize them or not and a portion of those expectations are not met. That means we all have wounds that need healing. The good news is that healing is available—Jesus makes that possible! And we can participate in that process with each other if we recognize and take ownership of our defensiveness. “Thank you Jesus for making this possible “